Kansas City, Eh?

Two nights in Kansas City seems like enough. I like the people I work with and I think they like me. I just don’t need to spend 48 hours together. I wouldn’t mind 48 hours together, just not all at once. A few hours here, then a week off, a few more hours, then a month away. That is how I would like to spend 48 hours with these people.

And here’s another thing. By way of explanation, the first paragraph was the first thing. Otherwise this could not be “another” thing, it would just be a thing. So anyway, if you get up early at a hotel and are forced to shower and get dressed and be forced to wear one of the three shirts you have that say “Farmers” on it, and have to eat breakfast with these same people starting at 7:15 AM. And then after a rigorous discussion during the morning, you have to eat a “working lunch” with them again. And then another grueling discussion where we rehash the same things over and over and over and over again because, if you go to a meeting, even though someone else has just said the very thought in your brain, you still have to say it anyway,otherwise yo have no worth the the company - after 5 more hours of that, they then announce “We have reservations at J. Pierpont Wondershorts for dinner at 6PM.” I mean, really? Huh? After 10 consecutive hours with the same 15 people you really want me to go out to dinner with them as well? What sort of bonding do you think I need to do with these people? I see them in the elevators. (“Hey” is what you say when you see them. That is sufficient.) You see them in the restrooms. (Can I at least pee without you?) You then have to see them every time you eat. And then, as if you now are going to declare them as your dependent, they all want to go to the bar and get drinks afterwards.

Ay carumba. I mean, do you people not have other things to do in their life? I just can’t take these people after that much time together. For heavens sake, these people like to talk about audits, even after work. (These two auditors walk into a bar. The first one says, “Hey, what is your variance?” The second one responds, “TFQ or CR?” They both laugh till the pee themselves. Seriously)

So I am now in the airport waiting for the airline gods to determine if my flight will be on time or I will be forced to make friends with the nice garbage lady again. I went through the security check this afternoon and thought I was OK. No lights or buzzers went off. Then a nice young man with an evil streak and a badge asked me to move to the right and he frisked me with extreme prejudice for, what I thought, was way too long. I asked him at one point when I was going to meet his parents. Then, without explanation, he said I was just fine and asked me to move on so he could target his next hapless victim. I asked what it was that prompted him to treat me with such distain. He looked at me and just pointed to my trays of clothes and shoes and said thank you. I really would like to know what I did so that I could avoid doing it next time. I really didn’t enjoy the rubdown notwithstanding the noises I was making. (I am a little ticklish.)

So there, I’ve been to KC and I am now coming home.